This Is Not The Time To Be A Tit.

Location:  Bangkok, April 24th

The skills of a New Yorker.  There are so many and as they say -  if you can live there, you can live anywhere.  

Case in point, every taxi driver here in Bangkok and I do mean every, wants you to hose you on the fare.  Do they want to turn on their meters?  They do not.  One told me his was broken (it was beeping and very much alive) another just kept yelling "no government, no!"  Um, right then.   Everyone also wants to use awkward pauses and your assumed lack of knowledge against you, looking at you in the rear view mirror hoping that you have surrendered.

But here is the secret, my friends... I, just like many of you, am a New Yorker! 

Do you know what you have?  What the hot summers, paralyzing fear of bed bugs, appreciation for singing street bums and deep hatred of a packed L train have all given you?  Some gunk in your bones that will have you punching the hood of a car as it almost clips your legs when you have the right of way, fierce negotiation tactics as you angle for the restaurant table with the best view,  and overall that knack to stand up to - generally quite loudly - the world's various injustices including rent increases, weak drinks and flimsy return policies.  You are, without question, someone who will not, under any circumstances, be royally HAD.  Some being had is natural in a foreign country, fine.  But to totally eat it on everything including taxis when you know how much they should cost, is going to happen over our universal cold, dead body.  Can I get a hell, yeah?

So, I'm in this taxi (after winning a stare down about the cost, I might add) because I've decided that given I am in Bangkok - a city known for its street food and its Chinatown - I am going to roll up my sleeves and my pouch of Pepto and head out on a Chinatown street food tour.

I was just in touch with Sam - who was under the weather yesterday.   He wrote very dramatically that he HATES ALL CHINATOWNS in a humorous and vivid response to my statement about this tour and inquiry if he would like to join.  

bangkok china town

Sure, I know it's a risk.  I may end up in the fetal position on my flight to Ranong tomorrow but... this is not the time to be a tit!  This is the time to get in there!  So, if Bangkok's Chinatown is supposed to be off the chain and it is of interest to me, I'm bringing my stolen hotel wash cloth to wipe my face in this thick heat and you know what?  I'm going to crush it.  I shall crush that Chinatown tour.  Or, I'll have dysentery in a few hours (as I've joked for years when having eaten too much) and be just like Sally with her snake bite on the Oregon trail - who notably usually dies, after forging the river, losing an ox and shooting a measly squirrel.

Sam is choosing to go to a hotel bar for the rooftop view.  Time will only tell who is #winning.  But one thing is for sure, we are each getting in there as this is not the time to be a tit.  

Wondering where all of this titillation is coming from?  I've stolen this word from my dive instructor, Emma.  Catchy, yeah?  Really classes this post right up.